Title: No Man is an Island
Summary: I don't own the characters. Logan thinks back on everything. Spoilers for all of season 1.
Logan Echolls was alone. Some famous philosopher had once said that no man was
an island, but he had never met Logan Echolls, Logan was truly alone. His mother had killed herself, his father had fucked and
murdered his girlfriend, his best friend was too drugged up on presecription healers to notice anything, his sister was a media
whore and could care less where her “darling” little brother was, the girl he had called his girlfriend for less then a month
had betrayed him and left him out to dry, and his precious Lily was gone, forever. He had wanted to jump off the bridge but for
some reason Weevil hadn’t let him, he had pulled him down and told him to go sober up some place nice.
He remembered the first time he had seen her, he was twelve and new to
It wasn’t until years later that he had seen her again. She and Duncan Kane were said to be going out or on the way to going out and
At first he had just used Lilly to get near Veronica, even though anyone could see that she and Duncan were that quintessential couple that everyone can’t help but love. But then he got caught up in the force of life that was the dynamic Lilly Kane. She was a whirlwind, he never knew what she was going to say or do and he loved her for it. Even though they fought and spent almost as much time mad at each other as they did madly in love, he loved her, more then anyone.
The feelings he had for Veronica had never faded and occasionally he would see in her that little girl in the blonde braids, but then it would fade or be overthrown by Lilly. He remembered once when they had all been at the Kane’s drinking and playing “Truth or Dare”, Lilly’s favorite. Lilly had dared him to kiss Veronica, she had always known about his dormant feelings for Veronica no matter how much he denied them or hid them from her. Being Logan Echolls he couldn’t very well resist a dare so he’d kissed her, softly. But he could tell that there was something there and that she felt it to.
When Lily died he had felt lost and he blamed himself and Veronica. She had told Lilly about Yolanda and if she hadn’t he would have been with Lilly, kept her away from Aaron. But most of all mad at himself for not loving Lilly enough. Not loving her enough to not kiss Yolanda and not loved her enough to forget about Veronica Mars. So he had lashed out, Veronica became the enemy, she had to be destroyed.
Then that day at the Camelot, Veronica had been in trouble and the hatred he had towards her that had been slowly fading, she had helped him try to find his mother after all, had crumbled and he became scared. Scared that he was going to lose someone else he loved, the girl he had loved first. But he had gotten there in time and she had kissed him, and then he had finally been able to kiss her like he had always wanted to, and that was the moment when he had been the most happy. Everything after that dimmed in comparison, the bathroom, the pool house, outside his house in the dark, everything. Even Lilly seemed to be fading. And then it had all come crashing down.
She said she trusted him but at the first test of her trust she had betrayed him. He knew that she was cautious and that she didn’t give her trust to just anyone, but she had lied to him and thought he was capable of killing Lilly, of hurting his Lilly. Everyone he had ever loved had left him for dead, left him to wander alone through life, and for once Logan Echolls admitted that he needed someone. And it wasn’t just anyone he needed, there was only one person who could pull his little island to the shore and keep it close. He raised his fist to knock on her door, suddenly scared that she wouldn’t want to see him that she had forgotten about him. Logan Echolls didn’t get scared he silently reminded himself and knocked on the door. He waited and it slowly opened, and there she was bruised and battered, hair messy and her smile that of someone who had only just woken up.
"I was hoping it would be you." She whispered smiling up at him and in that moment he knew that everything would be okay, because he had finally found her, the girl he had loved first and she had been waiting for him all along.